Trump’s Guide To Pussy Grabbing

DONALD Trump has taken to social media in a bid to clarify remarks made in a leaked tape from 2005, in which the Republican presidential nominee discusses his patented ‘grab them by the pussy’ method of wooing the ladies.

Addressing the online fury stoked up by the remarks, Trump accepted that it wasn’t enough for him to just suggest that you should grab women by the pussy, and went on to clarify the specifics of pussy-grabbing that has made him the man that he is.

“Okay, I apologise, some of you may not be rich and famous enough to know how to just walk into a room and grab a woman by the cooch,” said Trump on his Twitter account, running way over the 140 character limit because the Donald doesn’t do limits.

“So listen up, okay? You want to come from underneath, not from the front. You don’t want to punch the dame in the stomach, now do you? Okay. So come from underneath and BAM, okay, just catch her like a frog in flight. She’ll love it. You’re rich, you’re powerful, women respect that kind of thing, yeah? Just grab them by the pussy. Do like I do, I’m the best at it. Just great at grabbing pussy. Believe me. So yeah, glad we cleared all that up”.

Trump went on to add that anyone who thought that a man grabbing a woman by the genitals was a barbaric sexual assualt was ‘probably a lesbian’ and ‘almost certainly a terrorist’.