Top 10 Quotes From Last Night’s US Presidential Debate

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LAST night’s US presidential debate marks, for many political commentators, the nadir of modern Western democracy.

However, there were countless passages from the contest between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump that deserve a special mention. WWN has collected the top 10 quotes, which should make you despair and weep for the fate of humanity, below:

[Trump on his comments relating to sexually assaulting women] “I regret my remarks from 2005, but what I regret more is being caught. Really, I do. And something the media won’t report, this is true, they’re for Hillary, what the mainstream media won’t report is that when I said I would grab a woman by the pussy, they omit the fact that when I said that I meant that I would grab a woman by the pussy in the most respectful manner. No one respects women like I do.”

[Clinton on sticking to the issues] “I really think we should get back to discussing the issues that so many Americans want to hear presidential candidates debate and discuss, but before we do that, it might be fun to just contemplate how small Donald’s dick must be.”

[Trump on Clinton’s foreign policy record] “Hillary Clinton, or as I like to call her, Crooked Hillary, invented the phrase ‘Allahu Ackbar’, it’s true and there’s no denying it. She lies, but it’s true, she invented Islam.”

[Clinton on sticking to the issues] “It’s funny you should raise that question Anderson, because it’s a question I have no intention of answering.”

[Trump on becoming president] “Once I become president, it’s true, I will, and when I do, the first thing I will do in office is murder Hillary Clinton. They let you do anything when you’re president, it’s true.”

[Clinton on Trump’s financial failings] “You know, I don’t think America wants a president that hasn’t paid income tax for over 20 years, but what do I know, I thought America would be over Benghazi after 8 separate hearings found I was not personally responsible for any of it. Fuck this, I need a drink.”

[Trump discussing trade] “She’s made all these bad deals for America, unbelievable. 30 years she had to make deals and she made most the baddest deals ever. Period. She also shot and killed JFK, which makes her a very bad person.”

[on what he would do about the humanitarian crisis in Syria] “I think we could host a beauty pageant for the best looking ones and maybe let those with the sweetest asses into our country. I don’t wish to comment further as I have no concept of human empathy, thank you, I relinquish my time to that bag of flesh I wouldn’t fuck if you paid me to.”

[Clinton’s closing statement] “My doctor tells me that this is real, what’s going on. But I can’t help feeling this is all a figment of my imagination and I’m high on painkillers or something. Please, help me. This can’t be real, can it?”

[Trump’s closing statement] “You get the president you deserve America, come join me in the gutter. You think you can rid yourself of me, you can’t. I’m going to say the N-word during the week and my poll numbers will go up, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

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