Britain To Take EU Back if It Promises That Things Will Be Different From Now On

FOLLOWING months of trial separation, Great Britain has agreed to take the EU back, but only on its own terms and only if it can be sure that things will be different from now on.

Britain shocked the world by breaking off its decades-long relationship with the EU earlier this year, claiming that ‘enough was enough’ and they were going to ‘try and make it one their own’.

Despite several close friends of the EU and Britain pretty sure the UK would be the one to see the error of their ways, the plucky nation has so far remained steadfast in its bid to be ‘a strong independent country who doesn’t need no union of countries to take care of them’, because they can take care of themselves.

“They threatened us with this, they threatened us with that… they said there was no way we’d survive on our own,” said Britain, who many expected to be dead in the gutter at this stage.

“But it comes to pass that the ones who have the most to lose is the EU, not us. We left, which means anyone can leave. So yeah, we’ll think about bringing them back, but it’ll be on our terms and this is their last chance”.

Britain went on to state that any country trapped in an abusive relationship with the EU should consider leaving immediately, adding that they ‘ain’t all that’.