Pat Hickey Has Been Released From Prison And He Looks Ripped


FORMER Olympic Council of Ireland (OCI) president Pat Hickey has been released from preventive custody in Rio de Janeiro this afternoon, to wow onlookers with his stunning new physique.

Dressed only in a pair of cotton boxer shorts and a string necklace, the buff Mr. Hickey flexed for photographers and journalists in a stunning display of defiance, growling ever-so-slightly at any questions being asked of him.

Mr Hickey has been accused under Brazilian law of ticket touting, running a cartel and illicit marketing during this year’s Olympic games.

Lifting up his right boxer pant leg, Hickey barked at reporters to ‘hurry up and take some goddamn photos, before I lose my stance’.

“We’ve never seen Pat so fit and healthy,”  family solicitor, Anne Marie James told WWN, “Prison has had a profound effect on him, so we’re all still trying to come to terms with his new look”.

During photographs, the 71-year-old taunted journalists who had originally hounded him for questions upon his release, before then being pulled back by several family members after becoming irate.

“You wanna fuckin’ piece of me, huh?” Mr. Hickey started on one Irish Daily Mirror hack, “I’ll show you tickets mother fucker. I’ll show you a one way ticket to hell, bra”.

Following the brief altercation, he was then ushered into an awaiting car by family members.

“Apparently Pat was running the show in prison,” a source inside the jail explains, “Inmates looked up to him and called him ‘Big Micky Hickey’. Rumours have it Pat battered another inmate to within an inch of his life with his own penis. Pat just smacked him around the cell with it. Nothing sexual like. Pat’s just insane when he gets going. He’ll be sorely missed here”.

On Monday a judge ordered his release from prison, citing Mr Hickey’s “age” and stating there were no grounds for him to be imprisoned and that he was only a danger to the other inmates.