Tony Stark Wins 50th Consecutive Iron Man Competition


FOLLOWING his 50th consecutive first-place finish, playboy Tony Stark has been banned from competing in any further Iron Man competitions after athletes claimed that his biomechanical suits of armour give him an unfair advantage in the gruelling feat of endurance.

Consisting of a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bicycle ride followed by a full marathon, an Iron Man race is usually undertaken by athletes at the absolute peak of human fitness.

However, renowned party-goer Stark, who sometimes moonlights as part of the world-saving combat troop the Avengers, has been described as being “of average or below-par fitness” and instead uses his home-made single-pilot flight suits to zip around the course ahead of everyone else.

“I trained for years to take part in this race, and I come second to a lad watching Netflix in his helmet while his rocket boots do all the work,” moaned one wannabe-Iron man we spoke to.

“How is that fair? It’s enough to make you want to join Hydra, if I’m honest”.

Meanwhile, Captain America has come under fire for claiming that he was robbed at gunpoint, in an attempt to cover up the fact that he simply got drunk and smashed his hotel room up.