Nation’s Property Developers Meet To Discuss How To Fuck Over Nation Again


HUDDLED in a quiet corner of a pub in Dublin, the Nation’s surviving property developers spent the morning pouring over the Government’s proposals for housing in Ireland wondering how exactly they were going to fuck over the Nation again.

“We’ve spotted about 45 potential loopholes in the Government’s well meaning proposals that we can use to maximise our profit at the expense of the public,” property developer John Gillriffy explained to WWN.

“But there’s no consensus yet between us, though, safe to say if we can cut corners, use cheaper materials and charge more, we won’t hesitate because housing in Ireland is about profit not actually building a decent home,” added Gillriffy.

In scenes reminiscent of Godfather Part II in which Hyman Roth uses slices of a cake to symbolise how mobsters will carve up Cuba in order to make millions, several property developers did the same with a particularly large breakfast roll.

Many of the developers had flown in from England to Ireland directly after concluding their bankruptcy proceedings, ready once again to lay the foundations for a solid structure which would be the basis for ‘fucking over the Irish people’.

The meeting was interrupted by a number of desperate people from the estate agent and banking sectors banging on the window outside, looking to be allowed in.