Holy Shit The Tour De France Is On


WWN has been reliably informed that this year’s Tour de France, the world’s most prestigious cycling race, is currently underway and has been for some time.

The race, which goes through France with sections that go uphill and other sections that don’t, aims to award the world’s best bicycle riders with a lovely new jumper or something.

Speaking to members of the public, we found that the majority of people were not aware of the ongoing competition, possibly due to having more interesting things in their lives.

“D’you know, I seen some bicycles on the news last night and was wondering what was going on,” said one Waterford native we spoke to.

“When it comes to cycling, I always find it hard to figure out what the hell is going on. They just show shots of a ball of lads in a pack, then a shot of one lad out front. Everyone looks the same, it’s very confusing, and I’m not sure I give a fuck”.

Other people we spoke to confirmed that when it comes to sporting events, the Tour de France ranks pretty low on their “who cares?” meter.

“The Euro finals are just after ending, and Wimbledon, and then the Olympics are about to kick off… so I’m not sure that I care about lads cycling for hundreds of miles at a time”, said a Dungarvan father of 13.

“Why do they keep having this thing? Who cares?”