5 Worst Injuries You Can Sustain While Running


FITNESS is no laughing matter. Once you open yourself up to the world of recreational exercise, you put yourself into the firing line for a range of cramps, injuries and general pain. Here are 5 of the worst injuries you can pick up while out on a daily jog:

1: Muscle strain

There’s a reason that people tell you to stretch before exercise! Insufficient warm-ups can lead to soreness and stiffness the next day. Don’t let this happen to you, warm each muscle group for a few minutes before heading off.

2: Standing on an AIDS needle

Needles with traces of AIDS-infected blood are everywhere, and the soles of your pound-shop runners aren’t going to stop a rusty hypodermic. Crunch, prick, AIDS. Be vigilant.

3: Pepper sprayed eyes

The cops have pepperspray these days, and they’re only looking for a chance to use it. A person running looks guilty as fuck, so don’t be surprised if you get a face-full of mace the next time you’re doing a 5k.

4: Ebola

Risk is especially high in Ebola season. Symptoms include bleeding internally, full body shutdown, and a significantly decreased personal best when running around the block.

5: Lo Pan

Feared Chinese demon Lo Pan may manifest at any time, or send his team of three “storms” to start some shit. The ancient Lo Pan has mastered many supernatural arts which he can use to harm or kill you. YOU CANNOT OUTRUN LO PAN.

You may be able to engage in jogging, running or physical exercise without encountering any of the above issues, but why take the risk?