How To Rip Off A Charity & Make Some Serious Cash


IF you’re the heartless and devious sort who thinks nothing of stealing from charities that provide essential services to those in need, then your keen, bastard eyes have probably scanned recent news reports with great interest, trying to see if there is anything you could learn.

Well, WWN is here to save you the hassle of doing all that digging around, read on for your one stop shop on how to rip off a charity and make some serious cash.

Step 1

Remove the heart from your chest. Oh, you don’t have one? Great, that’s an excellent start. For those now bleeding to death, we can only hope for the best. Fingers crossed some heart transplant charity is properly run and they help you with that.

Step 2

Out-bastard Hitler, Jimmy Saville, ISIS and Mother Teresa.

It may seem difficult, but having a void where your conscience should be is the perfect breeding ground for all those horrible thoughts needed to help you to consider putting your hand in the charity till and robbing people blind.

We abide by the ‘one euro for me… and another euro for me’ method when counting charity donations which you will subsequently pocket for yourself.

Step 3

Find a charity. Simple enough, just target a charity, whose sole purpose is to help those in dire need of help, and well, there’s no other way of putting it – fuck them right over.

If you’re not happy with your chosen charity, you can always set one up yourself.

Step 4

Carry on. That’s right, once you start the process which will ensure your name becomes notorious with the sort of misdeeds ordinary people can seldom fathom, there’s nothing for it but to carry on. If it helps your cause in any way, try roping in as many people into your inner circle who have similar, vile interests.

Step 5

Collect your award for Lifetime Disservice to Charity. It would be a modest person who walks away from destroying public confidence in charities, but you shouldn’t be one of those unheralded sorts. Take ownership of the fact your actions will directly impact upon charities desperately in need of support and funding. Take a victory lap around a local graveyard while you’re at it, given some time, there will be plenty of people in there that you’ve helped into an early grave.