Rapist Wondering If Judge Will Consider His 1992 Community Games Long-Jump Record


A MIDLANDS man recently convicted of sexually assaulting a young woman is currently wondering if the judge will follow the lead of the recent Brock Allen Turner trial, and take his impressive under-15s long jump career into consideration.

Turner, a student in a prestigious US university and Olympic swimming hopeful, received a 6-month sentence for a serious sexual assault after Superior Court Judge Aaron Persky took his previous good character and athletic background into consideration.

With news spreading among the rapist community that being really good at sports can help reduce the amount of time you spend in jail after a rape conviction, Mullingar Native Danny Shanahan is hoping his three trips to Mosney in the early 90s is enough to get him a bit of leniency from his sentencing judge.

“My record is nearly 6 meters, not bad for a 14-year-old at the time,” said Shanahan, admitted raping the defendant but ‘not, y’know, really raping her’.

“So hopefully the judge looks at me and says ‘ok, here’s a man, very good at doing sports, raped a woman, yes, but overall, not a bad sort’, and give me a reduced sentence. I mean, I’ve promised not to rape anyone again. It was just that one time, it’s out of my system now”.

Unfortunately for Shanahan, his long-jump record was not taken into consideration, and the judge passed down a 2-year sentence, suspended for 2 years.