Government Introduce ‘Mental Wealth Department’ To Cater For The Super Rich


A BRAND new department dedicated to protecting the finances of Ireland’s super rich is to be launched later this month as part of the Government’s new strategy for the wealthy.

Ireland’s new Wealth Care system will focus directly on educating people with large bank accounts on tax avoidance and offshore banking methods.

“Ireland, for too long, has danced around the issue of tax evasion for the rich,” Taoiseach Enda Kenny explained. “Now, anyone who has enough money, can openly move their finances around various offshore holdings without fear of being ridiculed”.

Included in the new program is a sub subdivision called the Mental Wealth Department, which will be solely dedicated to Irish billionaires with a certain degree of power.

The €12 million recently cut from the mental health budget will now be spent exclusively on counselling high earners, who are said to be suffering from an irrational fear that a Fine Gael government will raise taxes on them.

“There’s wealth, and then there’s mental wealth,” Mr. Kenny added. “These insanely rich people need to be shielded from the public and the new mental wealth care system will focus on providing legal guidance for billionaires wishing to sue anyone who questions them”.

The new departments are initially expected to cost €76bn to set up, and a further €10bn a year to fund, forcing the government to further cut spending on less important departments like health care and social housing.