Teenagers Story About “Girlfriend In Other School” Currently Falling Apart


ONE Waterford teenager is today facing the agonising threat of having to own up to the fact that his story about having a red-hot girlfriend who goes to school two towns over is nothing more than a complete figment of his imagination, aimed at making himself sound like some sort of sexual bigshot.

Padraig O’Hara, 16, has maintained the ruse for almost a year, after being teased for having never shifted a girl by the majority of his class, who are all dickheads.

Using pictures from the internet to bolster his shaky tale, O’Hara was able to convince most of his tormentors that he had indeed a girlfriend, although she isn’t from around here and she’s not on Facebook, so don’t bother trying to look for her.

However, holes began to appear in his tale after a boy in his class revealed that his cousin goes to the same school as O’Hara’s supposed girlfriend, and nobody had heard of her over there.

Scrambling for answers, O’Hara confided in WWN about his crumbling illusion.

“If you know a way out of this for me, I’d love to hear it, ” said O’Hara, smoking a cigarette without inhaling. “Why is teenage life such a constant, never ending hell? Anyone who gets to 30 and says ‘I wish I was a teenager again’ needs to have their fucking head checked”.

A desperate O’Hara would later tell his class that his girlfriend no longer went to that school, due to being expelled for being “too much of a ride”.