Lovin’ Waterford: Liven Up Christmas Dinner With This Piss-Handy Magic Mushroom Soup

CHRISTMAS. Dinner. I know, right? Every year, on the same day. If you’re like us, you’re all like, eh, can we just not? Right? Enough with the Christmas dinner. It’s so done.

UNLESS.

Unless you could give your Chrisso dinno a kick up the piss-pipe, right? Well, we’ve got just the thing for you, and it’s as easy as talking about yourself and how great you are at length for a long period of time. Simply add a shroomy soup to the mix, and get ready for the Chrim-din of a lifetime.

1) Make soup

Anything. Make it from scratch or just heat up a packet. Any flavour, it doesn’t matter. Don’t boil your shrooms in the soup, it might take away some of their trip-tastic capabilities. Just heat up soup. Come on now!

2) Add shrooms

Any shrooms you like. Real mellow caps or the most angry hard-hitting fungus you can find. Make sure to add enough chopped up mushies to really trip the fuck out of everyone in the room. As a guide, that’s one cup of mushrooms per person (33 shrooms), and one for the pot to be on the safe side.

3) EAT IT

You know how to eat, right? Apply that knowledge to this soup. Chew. Swallow. Repeat. SO EASY.

4) Yeah

Yeah

5) Sprout

Turkey is, and sprouts maybe, ham. There’s always stuffing on the telly. There’s, not right now, there’s a thing. It’s on the cards, the Christmas cards. There’s something on the cards. The cards are in the potatoes and the potatoes are on the telly. Not on the telly. In the telly. The food is in the telly. We’re all in the telly. I can see us. We’re small and in the telly on cards.

6) Colour

Look at this selection box. have you ever seen something so vibrant. It’s got Santa on it. So red. Just… so red. Santa we love you.

7) Run

Please Santa don’t

8) Sleep

Makes everything good. So easy. Everything is so easy.