TOUCHING: 29-Year-Old Man Writes Letter To His 15-Year-Old Self


WITH all that is going on in the world today (sadface Syria) we could all do with a bit of uplifting news now and again.

Today’s heartwarming story comes in the form of Ballina lad Damien Henley, who decided to write his teenage self a letter.

Damien, now 29, penned the gas missive on Facebook and it has since gone viral, shared by an astonishing number of very similar Irish websites whose content is essentially exactly the same.

The letter, which pulls at the heart strings, is reproduced with the all important hat tip below:

Hi Damien, it’s me, you.

I’ve been thinking a lot about being a teenager and it feels like you would have benefitted a lot from some of the advice my older self is now well equipped to dispense.

Why did you masturbate to that picture of a swan? That’s seriously fucked up even for us. I can’t remember perfectly, but wasn’t it like in the nature section of an issue of the RTÉ Guide? Christ, you’re a weird little fucker.

Oh, and heads up, Mam and Dad are going to split in about a year and they insist it isn’t your fault, but it absolutely is, and they would have split up sooner if they knew about the swan stuff. Seriously, you went back for more later that evening, there must have been an interview with Anne Doyle or something, but know something about that majestic swan caught your perverted eye.

Genuinely, I would really like a fucking explanation. I’ve spent a fortune on therapy since, and you were just gallivanting, willy nilly, swan splatting. If I wasn’t you, I’d punch you right in the face.

Another thing, the bullying in school is going to get a bit full on this year, and bullying is 100% wrong and no one who does it should be absolved. Having said that, I honestly can say we, you, me, we deserved it. They didn’t even know about the swan stuff, but they sensed something wasn’t right. You swan fondling prick.

The amount of dead arms you got me for being me isn’t even funny. I’m fairly certain Mr. Walshe didn’t even want to report it to the principal because he knew we were a bad egg.

And Jesus, why do we smell so bad? You need to up your Fructis Garnier intake when showering. You’re just giving the lads ammo. Africa. Lynx Africa. Buy some of that too. Throw out that RTÉ Guide, seriously.