Reasoning Behind Curved TVs Still Unclear

SCIENTISTS at the University of Cambridge have admitted today that a report carried out by the university into curved television screens was inconclusive in its findings.

“The reasoning behind the introduction of curved flat screen TVs still remains unclear,” head researcher Dr. K. Phillips told WWN this afternoon. “After studying the phenomenon for the past two years, we were unable to explain why electronics companies have distorted the shape of the normally flat screens in favour of a concave design”.

Interestingly, the study concluded that the majority of people who bought the strangely shaped device had no idea why they spent so much money for the defect.

“I suppose it just looks nicer,” one customer told the study. “The price tag was huge, so I gathered it must be good and the most sought after entertainment item in the shop. Plus, when you put your head up close, it kinda feels like you’re in the TV; like surround sound, only vision… yeah, surround vision.”

Following several thousand customer eye-damage complaints, TV manufacturers urged viewers not to sit within one foot of the screen due to health and safety restrictions, making the whole concept redundant.

“The curve is there to give the illusion that it is engulfing you,” a Sony spokesperson insisted earlier. “Please do not stick your face to it as it may cause partial blindness. Just pretend the edges curve around your chair, use your imagination.”