These Pubs All Closed At 2.30AM, What Happened Next Will Amaze You


IT would appear to the untrained eye last Saturday was just like any other Saturday in Ireland, however WWN and its Uplifting Viral Stories Unit has discovered something truly amazing.

Pubs in Irish cities with a buzzing nightlife such as Dublin, Cork, Galway and Tramore have a great reputation amongst revellers for bringing forth joyous experiences, however something other worldly occurred this past Saturday at precisely 2.30am.

Thanks to the Intoxicating Liquor Act of 2008 all pubs and clubs are required to stop serving alcohol at 2.30am and then unceremoniously dump their customers out on their arses at the same time in order to flood the streets with a cacophonous display of civility and harmless fun.

However, WWN was amazed to witness what happened next…

Purposefully orchestrating the migration of the country’s revellers out onto the street all at once, to compete over a small number of taxis and precious places in takeaway queues did not result in the flawless interaction of the masses with public spaces and services.

We saw with our very own eyeballs Gardaí unable to referee every impromptu UFC match which broke out, meaning some victories in the ‘kick to the head’ weight division went unrecorded.

“We’d love to monitor every round of each contest, but because everyone floods out on to Harcourt Street and elsewhere at the same time we can’t attend every fight,” a Garda confirmed to WWN.

Similarly, pub goers were robbed of their chance to listen to the list of things the average taxi driver absolutely hated as there were simply too few taxis when compared with the number of people spilling out onto the streets.

“I’m just looking to get home, but there’s about 1 taxi for every 30 people at this time of night, and late night public transport is fairly non-existent,” a shivering pub attendee told us as he cowered in a doorway for shelter.

One man had to share the same location for his vomit with a stranger who was vomiting next to him, such was the scarcity of space on the packed streets.

“As far as planning goes this is awful,” the man said in between bringing up his lasagne vomits and carefully placing on top of the stranger’s curry.

It was truly amazing to see the first ever instance in Ireland of a confluence of people thrown out onto the streets left to the mercy of the elements, choosing to movingly unify together in appreciation of some expert legislative planning around alcohol consumption.

“Ah the nurses love it, all the injuries piling up a guaranteed time every week, it’s good for them. Last thing they would want is a steady, manageable stream throughout the course of a night,” explained a Government spokesman, who admitted nothing would change any time soon.