WWN Profiles: Vladimir Putin
WWN profiles one of the world’s most charismatic leaders who, despite his prominence on the world stage, the public still knows so little about.
Height: a constant source of amusement to the world.
Known for: being president of Russia, annexing Crimea, brutally murdering his father 6 seconds after leaving his mother’s womb.
In the news for: coming to terms with the devastating loss of life suffered in the Sinai plane crash, drinking a 240-year-old bottle of Crimean wine while in a masturbation circle with Silvio Berlusconi.
Diplomatic style: Judo chop to the heart, loudly chewing food while holding eye contact with an adversary. Throwing you over his shoulder running and away with you if you’re a woman.
Favourite movie: an as yet unfilmed self-penned script called ‘Putin Down The Law: Fists Of Fury’. Rumours are that Vladimir would have no problem kidnapping Brad Pitt and making the star play him in the film.
Strengths: Honestly doesn’t seem to give a fuck.
Weaknesses: Has a well documented Freudian relationship with Mother Russia.
Hobbies: being topless as much as possible.
Business interests: worth as much as $70 billion according to some sources, Putin owns several Supermacs outlets in Ireland.
Closest ally: the voices in his head.
Biggest foe: the voices in his head.