“I Know You Are But What Am I?” Taoiseach Asks Web Summit


THE childish exchanges, between the Government and the Web Summit reached their peak today as the Taoiseach Enda Kenny instructed his driver to pull up outside the RDS as Web Summit organisers were hard at work ahead of the event’s kick off tomorrow.

Rolling down the passenger door window, the Taoiseach spotted Web Summit genius Paddy Cosgrave and proceeded to shout “I know you are but what am I?” before adding the devastating addition of his thumb affixed to his nose while making a fart noise with his mouth.

Cosgrave, taken aback by the Taoiseach’s response to a series of email exchanges between Cosgrave and the Government, was unable to respond as the Taoiseach made sure his driver hit the accelerator immediately.

The Web Summit, which has received over €700,000 in funding from the Government in recent years, had been critical of the absence of a traffic management plan, among other things as well as a reasonable request which would have seen Dublin Council drain the Liffey to make room for several Web Summit events.

While the Government were seemingly receptive to making some minor changes they stopped short of granting all Web Summit attendees with diplomatic immunity, which would allow them to rape, murder and pillage the city without fear of prosecution.

Despite the Web Summit’s move to Portugal next year, it is expected the name calling will continue, but both sides have confirmed their reluctance to invoke any ‘your Ma’ based insults as both deem such utterances as ‘beyond the pale’.