Hipsters Shave Off Beards In Protest At Twisted Pepper Closure


MOVING scenes unfolded earlier today outside beloved music and nightclub venue the Twisted Pepper as distraught hipsters began shaving their beards off in protest at the venue’s closure.

Beards have long occupied the position of being the most sacred piece of facial attire for the Dublin hipster community, which makes the decision to shave them off in protest all that more affecting.

The Twisted Pepper had been the venue to countless nights to remember for the hipster movement and beyond, but its sudden closure has rocked dedicated narcissists to their self-absorbed core.

“Where the fuck am I supposed to get out of my bin now, seriously,” a distraught Gicko Jones bellowed outside the Abbey St venue as he took a blade to his beard.

Dublin music venue promoters have urged hipsters to refrain from further protests as they point out there is an ample number of other venues, still open, where they can freely take MDMA and pretend to like FKA twigs in.

“Honestly, we’ve truckloads of pills, be grand. We play music too and all,” Declan Conlon, promoter of Dublin indie night Heavy Flow told WWN.

Despite pleas from the clubs promoters, the mass beard shaving continued, which resulted in a Luas being derailed after becoming clogged up with excess hair.