WWN Guide To Mass GAA Brawls

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WITH mass GAA brawls continuing to thrill the close knit GAA community, WWN decided to provide a handy guide to those not so familiar with the much loved Irish sport of GAA brawling:

GAA mass brawls are better value for money than the UFC. Bouts are not limited to 1 on 1 contests, with brawls involving upwards of 30 pillars of the local community. Does the UFC let you jump in and partake in a fight if it gets a little out of hand? No! But this is for the taking in GAA mass brawls, fight for craic, fight for your honour, fight for the parish! A great sporting spectacle.

We’re currently in a golden age of mass GAA brawls. The players have never been bigger, never been fitter so these really are top notch contests and with the news that one Monaghan player has been banned for two years following a positive drug test we have the added danger and excitement of so-called ‘roid rage’ as no doubt other brawlers have taken some too.

Thanks to an ancient law still in place today, any bit of assaulting a person does while wearing a GAA jersey on a pitch is classified as ‘lads just letting off some steam’, which is just as well because if some of these fights happened out on a busy street you’d be looking at doing some hard time in prison. Or worse still, if they happened on a soccer pitch you’d be labelled a scumbag degenerate who is ‘just typical’ of that sort of shitty, void-of-morals sport.

Did you know these athletes don’t even get paid to partake in mass brawls? They do it for FREE! It just makes you appreciate the broken jaws and concussions that bit more.

We would advise that you shouldn’t attend if you are a medical professional, as you may be called in to assist a player who has been hit full force in the head with a hurl on purpose, as was the case with Dr. Daniel Maher at last weekend’s senior hurling match. What a way to ruin your day off.

Somewhat of a side note, but if find yourself attending a mass brawl be sure to record horizontally on your phone, as many casual brawl fans online have expressed frustration at the rise in vertically filmed, hard to watch mass brawls.

If this guide has you convinced that mass GAA brawls is the sport for you, pop on down to any match in your locality as you’re bound to stumble upon one sooner or later.

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