1996: Last Of Magdalene Laundry Workers Finally Cured Of Sin

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HUNDREDS of priests, bishops and cardinals today attended an emotional ceremony to mark the closure of Ireland’s last operating Magdalene Laundry.

A group of 12 female inmates were greeted with cheers and several decades of the rosary as they exited the 18th century building crying, probably over-come with exhilaration after spending years incarcerated under the watchful eye of the Sisters of Mercy.

“They’re cured from sin!” shouted one nun, herding the frail women with a blackthorn stick from the Laundry.

Archbishop of Dublin, Cardinal Desmond Connell praised staff members at the laundry for their consistency in treating the sinners, stating the success was down to their hard work and faith in God.

“We have finally cured the last of their kind,” he told a large crowd waiting outside. “These young women will one day look back at our efforts and thank the church for all it has done for them. Praise be to God.”

Taoiseach John Bruton offered his congratulations to Magdalene staff and presented church officials with a €56mn redundancy package for all their hard work over the 200 years of correcting women.

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