Taylor Swift Cures Aids
THE world’s media is today reporting that popular singer and songwriter Taylor Swift has found a cure to aids.
The singer’s hot streak of can-do-no-wrong achievements continue without an end in sight following her, epically epic putdown to a gossip magazine and her role in Apple’s musician payment turnaround this week.
The Daily Mail, which had in previous years remarked disparagingly about a litany of apparent failed relationships Swift was part of, have heaped praise on the Shake It Off star who reportedly told aids ‘no’ thus ending the disease’s presence on earth.
“While there is no medical logic whatsoever to suddenly curing aids, we would still like to thank Miss Swift for changing the course of history and saving millions of lives,” Margaret Chan, head of the World Health Organisation told WWN.
“She just ‘gets’ me,” added 3.5 billion women in response to the news that Swift had stumbled upon a cure to aids while remaining totally on point 24/7.
Swift was also praised for having a boyfriend despite not strictly ‘needing’ a man, and several tabloids have thanked Swift for not being one of those annoying feminist types that just piss people off for some reason.
However, it is not all good news for the 25-year-old as several media sites have confirmed that they are planning to turn on the singer in the near future.
“We’re not sure what it will be but if say a terminally ill fan in the Himalayan mountains requests that Swift become her mother and she doesn’t, we’ll probably start reintroducing subtle hints that we think she is a bitch and that everyone should hate her,” editor of Femail Carol Driver revealed.