Government Brings In Emergency Legislation To Stop Those ‘Happy’ Videos
While the resignation of the Minister for Justice Alan Shatter grabbed all the headlines yesterday, another political story flew under the radar only to be exclusively reported on by WWN.
It is believed the Government worked all through the night to form and enact emergency legislation dealing with the production of endless videos involving the Pharell Williams hit ‘Happy’.
The new legislation, which was passed by all sitting TDs made use of a little known clause known colloquially as ‘please make it stop’. Using this clause the Government could alter the constitution without the need for a referendum finally bringing an end to each and every small town and village in Ireland hopping and dancing about to the 12,967th best song ever recorded.
“This is your Government in action, working cohesively for once,” shared political expert Gavin Garvin, “they were so intent on getting this through they closed the Dáil bar up at 2am”.
While the sentiment put across by the song and videos is a worthy one a Government insider admits they had to be seen to take action.
“Ah the fucking head of some of them, not to mention the fact that half of them dancing were closer to being dead inside than happy,” explained the insider.
“We had to respond with this legislation as a lot of the media were being sent the videos and told that and I quote ‘play us being happy or we’ll break your bastarding legs’ and that was just one threat from an old folks home in Kerry,” the insider added.
Many members of the public wrote to their TDs complaining that they had been bullied by ‘smiley-headed pricks’ into appearing in the videos.
Some people even incurred injuries when filming with one Donegal man losing an eye. ” I just got too fucking happy, twas me own fault,” remarked the man in question, Donal Vine.
While the Taoiseach refused to comment on the legislation, it is believed he was persuaded to act when a local constituent in Mayo asked him to be one of the videos.
“The Shock don’t dance,” was the insider’s response to rumours Enda Kenny was kidnapped and nearly forced to perform in a ‘Happy’ video.