Cork Lad Thinks About Cork Every 3 Seconds


Cork Lad

Conal Lynch, a proud Cork native, struggled to concentrate in work this afternoon, WWN can exclusively reveal.

Sitting on the third floor looking out over Harcourt St in the Nation’s capital Conal thought to himself ‘it’s no Princes St’.

The 26-year-old accountant found himself growing ever more restless throughout his working day, his head filled with thoughts of a drive out to Inchydoney, a Cafe Gusto sandwich and a pint in The Bodega.

To the untrained eye it appeared Conal was doing a solid day’s work, but upon closer inspection it could be seen that just beneath his ashen-faced silence Conal was obsessing over his native Cork at a rate of once every three seconds.

When a co-worker asked if Conal wanted to go out for lunch, he responded ‘yeah, of Cork, eh, I mean of course’ such was the Cork-shaped fog surrounding his brain.

This all consuming fixation rendered him useless to his co-workers as he stared longingly at his screensaver – the Cork coat of arms. The effect of being so engrossed in all things Cork while stuck up in Dublin is akin to a mild stroke, leaving Conal bereft of movement, stuck in a dangerous inert state.

As his will to live in Dublin visibly drained from him he reached a momentous decision: he was going to take the Friday off and make a real weekend out of it back home.