Single People Reminded That Even Hitler Found Someone To Love Him

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Ireland’s single people have been reminded that if evil merciless dictator Adolf Hitler managed to find someone to love him, then in all likelihood they should eventually find someone who will put up with them.

WWN understands that a large proportion of single Irish females have also been told that Michael across the way is after splitting up with his girlfriend.

Siobhan Rafferty, a single woman from Carlow, was playfully reminded of the fact Hitler found love by her mother earlier this week.

“Sure, he killed millions of Jews and he still managed to find someone to put up with him, what’s your excuse, huh? Ah I’m only codding,” Siobhan mother’s reportedly said, before adding, “just don’t get a cat whatever you do, I couldn’t handle the neighbours and their gossip.”

While single people throughout the country have said they appreciate the comparison to Hitler, they feel it is slightly passive aggressive and would be thankful if everyone stayed out of their love life.

Despite this close friends of Ireland’s unlovable single people have helpfully chimed in with ideas on how to find ‘the one’.

“We all made a video for my single friend Ciara,” explained Ally Dowling, “it’s like those ‘it gets better’ video for gay people but like for lonely single people. I think we really helped her see that she’s not like some monster devoid of the ability to be love,” Ally added.

“Well, yes I’m single but astonishingly it doesn’t cause me to kill myself or wish I was never born,” shared 24-year-old sales assistant Alan Sheehan, clearly lying to himself about how desperately lonely he must be.

“I’ll be honest, being told Hitler found love is maybe some veiled hint at the fact I may hideous and unlovable, but maybe I’m over thinking it,” offered pathetic singleton Jenny Boyle, “I’m actually quite content at the moment, doing well in work and enjoying time with friends,” added the delusional entrepreneur.

More to follow as we get it…

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