‘Candy Crush’ Maker Valued At $7.1 Billion In World Gone Mad



The world has gone completely and utterly insane if it truly values ‘Candy Crush’ creator King Digital Entertainment at $7.1 million, it has emerged.

The games firm has raised $500 million through its IPO meaning that individuals somewhere with brains, thoughts and large bank balances believe the ‘Candy Crush’ game which is similar to over 435 other popular games in existence represents over $7 billion in value.

‘Candy Crush’ has been likened to heroin for people who are petrified of drugs and the outdoors and has seen millions of people develop an obsession with the game to the point where there wilfully depart with cash in exchange for additional elements to the game.

“I personally wouldn’t pay $7.1 billion for the game, but what do I know I’m not some sort of stock market expert guy thing,” shared Noel Cullen, veteran gamer of 20 years.

“It’s great. I’m obsessed to the point, it’s actually embarrassing, but, like, why is it worth more than Hasbro, United States Steel, Urban Outfitters and Diamond Offshore Drilling,” queried smartphone user Jenny Doyle.

Tech and gaming experts however, have justified the valuation at every available opportunity. “Oh, this goes down as the stupidest valuation of a company I’ve ever heard of it,” enthused technology journalist Manuel Lopez.

Rumours persist that prices for the Candy Crush Saga will have to be increased to over $2,000 to ensure the company remains profitable.

More to follow as we get it…