Jobseekers To Be Put To Work On Cotton Picking Farms In New Government Back To Work Scheme

UNEMPLOYED vermin nationwide will be put to work on designated cotton picking farms in a new government back to work scheme, the Minister for the Environment Phil Hogan has revealed today.

More than 800 dole recipients are to start work on plantations around Dublin as part of a national scheme to make it look like 3,000 unemployed people are back working again.

Feeder buses will shuttle Jobseeker Chain gangs to the farms every morning at 6am, and bring them home again before sundown.

The initiative, called Gateway to hell, will come into effect from next week following a full assessment of jobseekers eligible to work for the program.

“We’re going to target the long-term unemployed and foreigners leeching off the system.” the minister told WWN earlier. “If they refuse to work, then they will be cut from all benefits.”

The positions will see participants work throughout the day picking cotton by hand. Subsidised refreshments like water and porridge will be made available to the workers.

Long term unemployed man Tony Casey said he is not looking forward to the conscription.

“I take back whatever I said about JobsBridge.” said the 35-year-old father of 17. “I have an awful pain in my back today. Must go see a doctor or something.”

But it’s not all bad news, the Gateway to hell program will pay each ‘participant’ €1 per hour for their hard work.