Pylon Attacks Seven Year Old Boy In Dublin

A DUBLIN boy was attacked by a 50 metre pylon today while innocently walking on his way to school.

Derek O’Brien left his home at 8.45am this morning, with his older sister Theresa, to attend their local primary school in a bid to educate themselves and emigrate post leaving cert.

Whilst taking a shortcut through a well know field, a large electricity pylon approached the pair asking them for directions to the Commeragh mountains in Waterford. It is believed the pylon became agitated when Derek and his 12-year-old sister refused to speak to the metal structure.

“It started getting mad because we said we were not allowed to talk to strangers.” said Theresa, who was still a little shaken from the ordeal. “It started making humming noises and then picked up my little brother and shook him silly.

“I screamed uncontrollably and then ran to get some help in a very dramatic fashion indeed.”

The brave schoolgirl ran to a nearby home, where neighbours called the Gardai and the local electricity supplier.

The second class student was found crying in the field by several neighbours who returned to the scene with weapons made of wood and rubber and various other pieces of non-conducting material.

However, the large pylon was nowhere to be seen.

Gardai arrived three hours later and a full investigation into the attack is under way. Detectives believe the structure may be on its way to county Waterford.

“Given the Pylons request for directions to Waterford, we can safely assume it was making its way there.” said detective Gary Walsh. “Although, this could be a cunning decoy to throw us off the scent.

“Pylons are quite sneaky like that.” he added.

If you have any information regarding today’s attack, please contact your local Garda station. Pylons are know to be very dangerous and should not be approached under any circumstances.