‘Mad Bastard’ Buys Himself Novelty Christmas Jumper


John, the mad bastard, was out and about the other day doing some early Christmas shopping when he spotted a shop selling hilarious novelty jumpers.

Always up for a laugh and telling priceless jokes, John picked up a jumper with a, wait for it, gangster Santa on it! He took a picture of the jumper and sent it to a few friends first – the fucking legend.

John could barely contain his laughter as he tried on the jumper. He pictured what all his friends reactions to the jumper would be and had a right good chuckle.

‘A novelty Christmas jumper, no one will see that coming’ thought John as he handed over €30 to the retail assistant who seemed slightly less enthusiastic about the purchase.

John continued to walk around town with the gangster, or should that be ‘gangsta’ Santa jumper in a bag. ‘These fuckers don’t have a clue how funny I am, if only they knew what was in this bag’ thought John as he walked past other shoppers on the street.

‘Why aren’t more people buying these things? I’ve seen like no one wearing them’ John thought to himself on the drive home. John then received a text from Brian in response to his hilarious picture. “Ha ha, a smiley face. Classic Brian!” John said out loud to no one.

It’s Santa but he’s a gangster. Gangster Santa. He’s a gangster. Like from the ghetto. Oh, fine you just don’t get it.