Annoying Bastard Ice-Cream Van Guy ‘Taking The Absolute Piss Now’, Says Everybody


EVERYBODY living in housing estates across the country have claimed the annoying bastard ice-cream van guy is just ‘taking the absolute piss now’, it has emerged this week.

Hundreds of thousands of people have slammed the ill-timing and general existence of the truck drivers, claiming ‘they only drive around to annoy residents who just sat down from work.’

More than 67% of the complaints were related to late evening calls that disturbed the viewing of such programmes as Eastenders and Coronation street.

The remaining 33% claim ice-cream van drivers were being smugly ironic and just ‘rubbing in’ how bad the Irish Summer really is.

One distraught home-owner told WWN he was sick and tired of his children bugging him for money during his favourite TV programmes: “That pied piper son of a bitch and his mobile music box is lucky that every time he calls its raining, otherwise I’d run out and strangle the cunt!”

Hostility towards the self-employed businessmen has hit epic proportions in Ireland, where it is estimated there are over 500 ice-cream trucks in operation.

One driver, who wished to be named only as Mr Whoppy, admitted the job was not for the faint hearted.

“I get called every name under the sun: lolly cock, milky tits, jizz pop, flake dick. And thats just the kids!”

Driving an ice-cream van was named as one of the most annoying jobs in the country, coming only second to selling charity scratch cards outside post-offices on pension day.