Local Man Doesn’t Recognise Catalonia’s Independence

WATERFORD man Tommy Brophy will not recognize Catalonia’s declaration of independence from Spain, it has been confirmed today.

The full-time son of two made the statement shortly after the political turmoil in Spain intensified on Friday as the Madrid government dismissed Catalonia’s president and parliament hours after the region declared independence.

“Who the fuck are Caledonia anyway? Didn’t Dolores Keane sing a song about them or something?” Tommy began, now visibly worried the batteries in his Sky TV remote control may be going, “those Spanish lads were always mad anyway… it’s too hot over there sure”.

Watching the news briefly while his potato waffles cooked in the toaster, Brophy called on both sides to come together for a rational debate on the matter, stating that communication was key in solving the crisis.

“They should all head down to the pub and get a few pints into them and they’d be grand,” he insisted, now flicking down the toaster switch for his waffles second and final round in the toaster, “hold on, will this mean Messi is still playing for Barcelona, or what? He’s in my fantasy football team. Balls! Actually, this could be a lot bigger than people may think”.

Brophy is also expected to release an official statement on the North Korean crisis, once he extracts the remaining mayonnaise from the sides of the jar.