“Yaaaas Queen”


THERE is growing concern for a large portion of the Irish female population after being struck down by a mysterious illness which see’s them unable to say anything other than the phrase ‘yaaaas queen’.

More disturbing still is that those afflicted do not merely speak the words, but are instead plunged into a trance like state that sees them screaming ‘yaaas queen’ at the top of their lungs before falling about laughing.

The condition takes on its most debilitating form when women are in large groups together, often in public.

“I wish we could say we have a cure for woke as fuck bitches, but we don’t,” confirmed one medical professional who confessed to seeing nothing like this in all their years in medicine.

Some recent research suggests the compulsion to scream the ubiquitous phrase only uttered by a unique few is at its most potent when a subject is shown certain images.

“Any gif from Ru Paul’s Drag Race, or a clip from Broad City and they’re lost in a constant screaming cycle for 30 minutes or so, it’s harrowing to watch,” confirmed Dr. Laura Neelon, chief researcher in a new study trying to find a cure for the epidemic.

“We’re reluctant to show them images of people owning, nailing or slaying for fear we’ll lose them forever in yaaaas queening,” confirmed a worried looking Dr. Neelon.