Smug Prick Still Has Holidays To Use Up

Local dickhead Mark Ryan has spent the last four weeks smugly reminding his co-workers that he still has 10 nights in Lanzarote to look forward to at the end of November which should, in his own words, ‘ease him into the Christmas holidays’.

Ryan, 32, held onto his holidays through the summer thanks to a combination of not having any kids and not having any friends, which he puts down to a strict diet of being dislikable.

His co-workers at the Waterford retail outlet where he works have talked exclusively to WWN about how hateful it is to work with someone who is going off to sun themselves in a few weeks, when their next holiday is nearly a year away.

“I’m staring into three straight months of winter, and here’s this dose with a fortnight off coming up,” said Shane Malone, who doesn’t mind being named.

“I’ve got kids, so I have to take holidays at peak times when everything is seriously expensive, right in the middle of the year when the sun just scorches everyone and I come home more miserable than I left. And then I have to sit here all day and listen to fucking Ryan go on a about how he’s going to be downing cocktails in the pool in the middle of November? It makes you pray for a hurricane, so it does”.

Ryan will make sure while on holidays to post plenty of pics of his trip on Facebook, starting with the obligatory ‘pint in the airport shot’.