FEARS relating to the after effects of Britain leaving the EU are intensifying after the latest dire warning from experts.
While the Irish government is hoping to make the country home to any multinationals leaving Britain in the wake of Brexit, experts from the Oh My God It’s Worse Than We Could Have Imagined, We’re Fucked I Tell You, Fucked (OMGIWTWCHIWFITYF) think tank have revealed their latest research paper which lays waste to any optimism.
“Brexit derailing the Irish economy is a given obviously, so begin choosing which of your children to eat first. However, something we hadn’t prepared for, in terms of Brexit fallout is that Britain’s exit from the EU seems intent on asking your sister out on a date and then never calling her back,” chief panic officer at OMGIWTWCHIWFITYF, Eoin Cuddihy explained.
“While the outlook was always tough, this new data is troubling. We thought maybe Brexit could just let your sister down gently, but it’s going to completely ghost her. And look, you know your sister better than most, she won’t take it well,” added Cuddihy.
A further blow to your sister’s confidence will be dealt as Brexit is likely to be engaging, funny and interesting throughout the night and will have taken her to an upmarket restaurant, leaving your sister to conclude once again that she ‘must be the problem’.
The OMGIWTWCHIWFITYF report also confirmed that Brexit was likely to wear away at the cable on your iPhone charger, leaving many Irish people fearing the worst.
“Ah, what? For fuck’s sake those Apple branded cables are expensive enough like, and the cheap knock off ones don’t last at all,” shared a frustrated Waterford local, Harry Byrnes.