We Enter The Mystical Realm Where Ireland Can Still Qualify For World Cup


ALTHOUGH the World Cup dreams of the Republic Of Ireland squad may lie in tatters following last night’s 0-1 defeat to Serbia, longtime fans of the home team will tell you that now is the time where we enter the ‘we can still qualify if…’ phase of the campaign.

As fantasists who believe the weakened Boys in Green can still tog out in Russia next year, WWN Sport will now outline the events that must take place if we wish to finish our group while still in contention.

To do so, we must take you to a mystical, alternative Ireland, where up is down and salt and vinegar tastes like cheese and onion. This Ireland may exist at the moment, coursing in parallel with our own reality, existing at the same time and yet not existing at all.

It is a realm that only crosses into our own at the point of collision of two particles rotating at thousands of miles per second in the large Hadron collider at CERN, the collision of those atoms sparking a window into this world too infinitesimally small for us to ever look through, occurring for too brief a moment in time for us to ever know it happened at all.

In this dimension, all things are possible, and if not in this dimension, then in any one of the infinite number of universes that slice through time and space without us ever knowing of them. All things are possible; a cat that shits so much it causes earthquakes. An ocean of boiling, molten steel that is still somehow perfectly safe to swim in. An Ireland team that doesn’t just mindlessly hoof the ball up the field and hope for the best.

Is it too much to dream that this land exists, and that in this land the Irish team have a small chance of qualifying for the World Cup? Would it be possible, we wonder, to catch a glimpse into this dreamscape, if only for an hour? If what it takes is the co-ordinated meditation of thousands of Ireland fans simultaneously as they drift in and out of consciousness to the point where their imaginations merge, then we’re up against Moldova in the Aviva on the 6th of October, it’s as good a time as any.