“I Can’t Fire Bannon, He’s My Top Racist” – Trump

DONALD Trump has shrugged off calls for him to fire Steve Bannon, stating that the controversial Chief Strategist is the foremost expert in white supremacy and racial hatred in the country, and therefore a vital part of his White House team.

Bannon, for whom the position of Whiter House Chief Strategist was specially created, has been a divisive figure for the staunchest of Trump supporters, with reports emerging that even Trump’s own daughter Ivanka and husband Jared Kushner are not fans of the controversial Bannon.

Facing increasing pressure to denounce white nationalism in all its forms in the bloody aftermath of the Charlottesville riots at the weekend, Trump has expressed his desire to ‘stay on favour’ with the very people who voted him into office, which involves keeping Bannon on his staff.

“If I lose Steve, I will lose the Breitbart audience,” said Trump, referring to Bannon’s alt-right website, “that’s a lot of redneck blooded Americans, okay, and I can’t afford to lose them.

“Steve is irreplaceable, quite frankly. He’s the number one racist in the country right now, I’d have to hire, like, four KKK grand wizards, and even then I might still not maintain the numbers that I have with Steve on the team.

At the time of writing, Bannon was unavailable for comment as 9am-8pm is his designated time to lie in a bath full of calf blood.