Exorcism Called Off After Child Revealed To Be Just Teething

THE VATICAN-ordered exorcism of a Waterford toddler has been called off after it was discovered that the supposedly-possessed little girl was simply teething, WWN can confirm.

Little Jamie Kerraher, 19-months-old, presented all the symptoms of demonic possession over the past week, including fever, diarrhoea, and screaming at everyone who came next to or near her.

The distressing behaviour of their only child came as a shock to her parents, Kathy and Mark Kerraher, who immediately assumed that any child acting in such a horrific manner must be under the influence of Satan himself.

The tiny tot would even claw at the faces of her parents while speaking in tongues, sometimes for up to 23 hours a day, leading them to seek the help of the Catholic Church to drive the demon back to hell where he belonged, until it was discovered that rather than being a vessel for the beast, little Jamie was just cutting a back tooth.

“Well, looks like I got all dressed up for nothing,” sighed Father Michael Gannon, Waterford’s chief exorcist.

“The little one is in a lot of distress, but it’s nothing a bit of Bonjela won’t sort out. I kinda knew straight away that I wasn’t dealing with a possession when I heard the little one screaming and crying the house down at 3 in the morning… I’ve been to dozens of exorcisms, and they’re normally a lot quieter than that”.

The Kerrahers were delighted to find out that their little girl wasn’t possessed, but less happy to know that they still have ‘another 6 months of this shit’ to go through.