Refresh

This website waterfordwhispersnews.com/2016/11/07/wwns-horoscopes-13/ is currently offline. Cloudflare's Always Online™ shows a snapshot of this web page from the Internet Archive's Wayback Machine. To check for the live version, click Refresh.

WWN’s Horoscopes

Share:

aries

21 March – 20 April

Does the ‘5 second rule’ for food on the ground mean nothing to you?! That crisp was there for at least a day.

taurus

21 April – 21 May

You get sunburn, in November. IN NOVEMBER. Fuck sake like. 

gemini

May 21 – June 20

We have to congratulate you, we’ve never seen someone vomit so much after three pints. 

cancer

June 21 – July 22

There’s no sense in dancing around this. You smell. 

leo

July 23 – August 22

We continue to light a candle for you. 

virgo

August 23 – September 22

You travel to Australia, and they have to change the warnings on everything because you are now the most poisonous creature in the country. 

libra

September 23 – October 22

Your IMDB page could use a little work. 

scorpio

October 23 – November 21

You spend an ungodly amount of money on Lego. What the fuck are you thinking? 

sagittarius

November 22 – December 21

You find an heir in your food. He’s got loads of money, a house, the lot. 

capricorn

December 22 – January 19

You can’t enjoy Westworld because the sums just don’t add up. There’s no way that place is making money. 

aquarius

January 20 – February 18

Your favourite website finally posts something you disagree with, and boy does it bring your piss to a simmer. 

pisces

February 19 – March 20

Your tinfoil hat business fails to take off. It must have something to do with the Illuminati. Always trying to keep you down!

Share:
X

You may see ads that are less relevant to you. These ads use cookies, but not for personalisation

Learn more about how we use cookies

You may change your settings at any time but this may impact on the functionality of the site.