Government To Increase Gardaí’s Breakfast Roll Budget In Bid To Avert Strike

IN A bid to show rank and file gardaí that they are in tune with their concerns and demands, the government has increased the force’s breakfast roll budget in a last ditch attempt to avert a planned strike.

“We’ve had a lot of criticism levelled at us, but in fairness now, we listened to Garda concerns and we’ve worked very hard to free up the €1,200 extra needed to bolster the supply of breakfast rolls to stations,” Minister for Justice Frances Fitzgerald explained at a press conference detailing the massive release of breakfast roll funding.

Minister Fitzgerald played down concerns gardaí have about low pay, low morale, need for reform, old and outdated equipment and a recent report from the Garda Inspectorate which claimed the force is as many as 30 years behind other police forces.

“Come on now, there’s no need to strike now, sure haven’t we got some sausages, rashers and black puddings for you. I had to fight the Taoiseach pretty hard on the black puddings, and people say we’re out of touch. You’re welcome,” the minister confirmed.

While the political masterstroke to give in to gardaí’s vocal demands for a few more breakfast rolls has echoes of Celtic Tiger era giveaways, the Fine Gael government were quick to dismiss claims that the funding allocation was ‘irresponsible’.

“We won’t be returning to those dark days we can assure you of that. While €1,200 may seem excessive, we think it’s no more than the force deserves. We reward hard work, just look at the recent pay bump for TDs for example,” the minister concluded.

In unrelated news house prices went up by an average of €100,000 since the announcement of breakfast roll funding was announced.