Cool As Fuck Lad Only Going In For Leaving Results Today

DESPITE the vast majority of this year’s 58,000 Leaving Cert students rushing out on Wednesday morning to collect their results, one Waterford teenager is only dawdling in for his today, because he has just ‘ran out of fucks to give’.

Sean Kingham, 18, was in no hurry to find out how he did in The Most Important Exams Of His Life ™, and only went in after his mam pleaded with him to get his results so she could tell the neighbours how he did.

Kingham, who might go on to third level education if he feels like it (and he hasn’t made his mind up yet either way), spoke exclusively to WWN while heading through the front gates of his former secondary school, St. Padraig’s in Dungarvan.

“So this is what all the fuss is about, eh?” said Sean, collecting the last remaining envelope with his results in them from the school secretary.

“This is what ‘decides what I do with my life’? D’you know I have better things to be doing than this. I’m 18. I’m away off somewhere for the craic, stay out all night, just be a mad bastard for a while. Then I might get a job so that I can have enough money to go on the session whenever I feel like it. Results? I am a result, pal”.

WWN continued to watch in envy as Kingham stuck his results in his pocket without looking at them, before roaring off on his motorbike.