“All This New Job Business Is Getting Very Boring If You Ask Me” – Micheál Martin

FOLLOWING the announcement of over 1,200 new jobs today, opposition leader Micheál Martin said he was getting very bored of hearing about new positions being created, and even accused the Government of bribing voters.

Speaking in an exclusive interview with WWN, Mr. Martin slammed the Government’s obvious attempts to secure voters by bribing them with jobs, schools and a slightly better quality of living.

“I find it disgraceful that a Government can just bribe the people with news of jobs in businesses and expect opposition parties to let them away with it,” a dishevelled Fianna Fáil leader explained. “It makes me sick to think that voters are being fooled into voting for a party that showers them with financial promises of a better economy and future for their kids.”

Sinn Féin leader Gerry Adams echoed Mr. Martin’s comments, claiming that all the opposition parties were at an unfair advantage now due to the apparent success of the current Government.

“Jobs, shmobs,” Adams scoffed, crumpling up a newspaper detailing the latest job development, before barking. “Irish water. Banking Inquiry. Denis O’Brien. Moore street”.

“You know there is such a thing as ‘too many jobs’,” Adams added.

It is believed that Opposition parties will seek a freeze on any new job announcements from businesses until the election is over to limit the nice photo opportunities for Government TDs.