Study Reveals Hoors Now 86% Cuter


NEWLY released census figures have revealed a startling increase in the cuteness of the average hoor, up a staggering 86% from last year.

The statistics show not only a rise in the number of hoors in the fields of politics, agriculture, petty crime and local affairs, but a marked increase in the cuteness of each individual hoor.

If these figures continue to rise, Ireland may find itself facing levels of cute hoorishness not seen since 2006, when the country nearly reached a cute hoor saturation point.

“There’s always a spike in hoor-cuteness in the run up to a general election,” said Martin Massey, spokesperson for the Central Statistics Office.

“Not only do a new generation of cute hoors come out of the woodwork, the existing hoors somehow manage to up their cuteness by a factor of ten. That’s before some sleeveen hoors convert their sleeveenishness to cuteness; a small change, I agree, but we must differentiate between the two”.

In other hoor-related news, the poll shows that the numbers of sly hoors has remained consistent, with a 13% rise in cheeky hoors and a 2% increase in pure hoors.