Zero Spectators Turn Up To Watch Local Man Open Up About His Depression

AN incident where a young Irish man began to talk openly about his battle with depression gathered a crowd of zero, causing no commuters to complain about disruption to their daily commute.

The outpouring, which mainly took place in his head, was recorded by nobody on their mobile phone and did not even trend on Twitter.

Hailing from a town in Ireland, the young man began his now-daily internal monologue upon waking, and continued throughout the day. Ranging from deep-rooted anxieties to dark discussions about the point of living anymore, the thoughts running through the popular twenty-something’s mind failed to emerge as words due to the lack of anyone available to listen.

“Yeah, he’s some craic altogether,” said one of his friends, speaking of the man’s tendency to self-medicate with alcohol, which has earned him the reputation of being some craic altogether. “There’s the odd time where he does start up with this aul moping, but we do tell him to fuckin gather himself and stop being a dry shite, that does normally cheer him up”.

As friends and family continued yesterday to shy away from awkward conversations about feelings and emotions, the man did his best to buck himself up and thank God that he didn’t have a real disease like cancer or anything. As no crowds gathered to take photos of the man to post on social networking sites, the fully employed boyfriend of one continued to practice an outpouring of insecurities and fears in the hope that at some stage he’ll gather both the courage to voice them and someone to listen.

“Ah yeah, we know the kind of thing he’s going through,” said The Samaritans, “He can give us a shout, we’ll talk to him on 116 123”.