Punch 4 Punch Internet Craze Welcomed By Struggling Tabloids


IN a boost to dwindling newspaper sales, the tabloid media have rejoiced after a new internet-based craze has given them the opportunity to guide the public toward ill-informed apoplexy.

The Punch 4 Punch ‘craze’ which has been credited with taking the life of at least one person in England has reinvigorated a press who were growing tired of reporting on things that relied heavily on facts and not wild conjecture and scaremongering.

“Thank Christ people are filming it when they do it, it’s a lot easier to panic the elderly into resenting the younger generations that way,” shared an editor for the Mirror newspaper.

The tabloids will use all their journalistic expertises to bring this little known ‘craze’ to the front pages of all of their publications.

“Punch 4 Punch isn’t well known if I’m being honest, but, if we run 42 pages on it and write things like ‘young people’, ‘sweeping the internet’, ‘viral’ and ‘dangerous’ hopefully we can force people to view it as the issue we want it to become,” added a Daily Mail journalist.

A number of tabloids are also publishing ‘how to play Punch 4 Punch’ guides in their papers in an effort to discourage the craze from becoming more popular, they have also encouraged people to send in videos of them partaking in the game to prove to the public how dangerous it can be.

WWN has heard reports that a number of editors have met together in private to masturbate in peace while discussing how best to exploit the ‘dangerous online game which is murdering newborn babies in the face. Twice’.