Mental Health Bill On Taoiseach’s Desk Starting To Fade, Turn Yellow

SOILED and damaged by legislative bills that have been laid on top of it and passed before it, the long-awaited Mental Health Bill is expected to fray and degrade some more as time runs out for it to be passed by the sitting government before the next general election.

Almost ten years since a review into the Mental Health Act 2001 recommended 165 changes to the law, the sun-bleached document moved slightly as a spider repaired her web which was once knitted between the bill’s dog-eared corners and the Criminal Justice bill which was quickly passed by the Seaned last week.

“I feel sorry for this bill watching as all the other bills come and go – it’s become a bit of a coaster for the bills,” the spider thought of the musty document, unaware of its significance to a country with a soaring mental health crisis, “it mustn’t be that important to these suited humans to be just left at the bottom of the pile like this – don’t worry Bill, I’ll stop any flies from shitting on you”.

Sitting on top of another ageing document labelled ’24-hour cath lab for Waterford’ in a pile called ‘for the next crowd to sort’, the spider watched on as current sitting Minister for Mental Health Mary Butler brushed by the tray of files.

“I thought she was going to grab both of them there, phew, I’d say my web will be safe from damage for another few years,” the spider rightly thought again, knowing how slowly things change inside the walls of Leinster House.

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