Wolfe Tones Dragging The Bollocks Out Of Farewell Tour

FANS of music excluding The Wolfe Tones contributions to the form have politely asked if the trad band know the meaning of the words ‘farewell’, ‘final’ and ‘gig’.

“They can ‘up the Ra’ to their hearts content, couldn’t give a shite but I’m just wondering if I’m going to be 98 and still being subjected to ‘announce final penultimate final gig before last few gigs’ media coverage,” said one 10-year-old who has have to live his entire life subjected to ‘The Men Behind The Wire’ singers’ farewell tour hoopla.

“People are such moany begrudgers, I’ve been to 18 last ever Wolfe Tones gigs, they’re great,” countered one longtime fan.

Happy for any band who achieves a resurgence to enjoy their moment in the sun, many members of the Irish public have slowly grown tired of the interminable talk of final gigs which now include another concert this time in Limerick in July 2025.

“I once saw a man, whose testicle sack was de-gloved in a horrific camel riding accident, crawl 200 miles across the Sahara desert to receive medical treatment and he wasn’t dragging the bollocks as much as The Wolfe Tones,” shared another music fan, who denies being a Phil Coulter fan.

“I’ll stuff my ears with dynamite if I have to hear Joe Duffy have another conniption fit on Liveline, please I’m begging you, finish up for real,” pleaded one radio listener.

UPDATE: The Wolfe Tones very-final-this-the-last-honest gig in Limerick is at risk of not going ahead as new fans of the band have discovered they are named after a Protestant.

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