Lucky Bitch Got Her Hands On Some Ozempic

LOCAL WOMAN Sarah Ratten is the envy of every single of one of her friends, coworkers and coworkers of friends, and friends of friends after getting her hands on diabetes drug Ozempic.

Used by Hollywood A-to-Z listers and online influencers for its weight loss capabilities, Ozempic is so in demand Ratten is likely at risk of being robbed everywhere she goes.

“You lucky bitch, what are you like, skinny minx Kardashian or what,” said one friend who put her fist through Ratten’s front door and chased after the 35-year-old in the hopes of stealing the drug.

Ratten admits she has briefly considered becoming a drug dealer and selling her 24-tablet blister packet of Ozempic, knowing that such is the desperate and delirious desire for the product it could make her the richest woman in Ireland overnight.

“Haha, listen Sarah love, long time no see, been saying to myself we should catch up,” went one of many voice notes sent to Ratten by women she hasn’t spoken to in over two decades.

“But seriously girl, who do you want killed I’ll do it? I’ll clean your house for a year, with my tongue. Whatever it takes, I’ll do it, gimme gimme the skinny skinny haha, lol,” added another demented voice note.