Things You Shouldn’t Say When In A Sex Shop

CROSSING THE threshold of an establishment such as a sex shop can invoke nervousness in many people. WWN is here to help through your journey with a list of phrases there are to be avoided in a bid to minimise awkwardness:

“Where are your dressing rooms I’d like to try this on? Yes, I know it’s a dildo.”

“Can you gift wrap that, it’s for my daughter.”

“Do gimp masks work on kidnap victims just the same?”

“What’s your returns policy? I got this 5 years ago and the rechargeable battery is kaput?”

“Do you do casting molds of penises? Of course I have mine out, how else are you going to mold it?”

“I’ve been a very, very well behaved boy so I’m looking for a sheet of stickers, maybe with gold stars on them”.

“I’m here to return something. I have the receipt and yes, technically speaking I have it with me, there’s just one problem.”

“I know you stock Anne Summers but do you have any Stormy Winters?”

“One anatomically correct Donald Trump sex doll please”.

“The rampant rabbit doesn’t do it for me anymore, I’m going to need a relentless rhinoceros”.

“You call these nipple clamps? I had to use 12 of them on one of my tits just to get the slightest hit!”

“Do you want any of my old school uniforms to sell on?”