Has A Friend Stated They Don’t Want Children? Here’s 10 Different Ways To Tell Them They Actually Do

NO MATTER HOW explicit the message is, regardless of its clarity and regular repetition when a friend says they do not and will not have children, there’s only one thing for; insist they do in fact want children and are mistaken.

Here’s the 15 best and most condescending ways you can inform a friend or loved one of this:

1) “Never say never.”

2) “Being a parent is the most important thing you’ll do with your life, you’ll see.”

3) “Ah yeah but you’ll change your mind.”

4) “You’ll change your tune when you meet someone. Emily stop pulling your sister’s hair or so help me. Honestly, she’s like the demon offspring from a horror movie sometimes haha.”

5) “Ha, I said the same thing but sure didn’t I have three in the end. A holiday? No, we’ve been broke for 18 years.”

6) “You say that now but just you wait. Micheal get down off that. Jesus, he’s thick as his father. Dimmer than a cinema”.

7) “But what you will do when you’re old and need someone to take care of you? Jamie, where are you going? You’re grounded after last week’s little stunt. Don’t you call me a bitch, can’t you see we have guests!”

8) “You’re young but when you mature you will want them. They broke the mold when they him, smashed the mold to pieces because they knew they’d made a mistake.”

9) “The dog is the trial run I’d say is it? Ah no you’ll love it when you do eventually have them. Stephen, what have we said about shitting on the kitchen floor? Potty training this little prick for a year now at this stage. Arse on him like a diarrhea canon”.

10) “Usually when a couple say they don’t want kids the woman really does want them, that’s probably the same with yourselves? Oh don’t mind me crying I just get like this anytime I’m overwhelmed which is always lol.”