Twentysomething Yet To Settle On Accent

STILL experimenting with his hybrid Tipperary and Dublin twang, 22-year-old college student and part-time barman Barry Ryan hasn’t yet decided on his life-long accent which continually changes from day-to-day, depending on who he’s speaking to and where they’re from.

“I suppose I’m a bit of a chameleon that way,” Ryan told WWN in a God awful accent and tone that would even make Beethoven himself stab his own ears out in his grave, “I guess being born in Tipp is a bit of a curse because our accent is very culchie, so when I speak to city folk I tend to tailor my accent so they can understand me and not slag the absolute shite out of me, but I’m sure they’re very accepting up here and it’s all in my head ha-ha,” he laughed naively.

Pretending to put his fears to bed, this reporter reassured the young impressionable man that he has all the time in the world to perfect a palatable tone, before noting how feral he sounded while serving another customer.

“Pint of Hino, horse, is it?” the absolute muck savage asked a wealthy looking man wearing a polo shirt, “gosh, it’s awfully moild out today, isn’t it, lad?”

Unaware he was the target of journalistic hit-piece which will go on to cruelly mock his culchie ways on a national level, the bogger stated he is glad he lives in an Ireland where people are being taught to be a lot more accepting of rural dialects, no matter how ridiculously stupid they sound to those of us who are more evolved.